Basag

Ang puso mo na pinagpasa-pasahan dito sa mundo

Mahalaga parin sa mata Niya

Wag mo na ipanakaw sa iba

Ibalik na muli sa tototong may Ari

Hinihingi Niya nag puso mong durog

Upang mabuo

Mabuo muli na parang walang nangyari

Bago na parang walang pinagdaanan

Hindi ba kakaiba?

Iniingatan Niya parin

Ang puso mong basag na

Minsan parang wala ng halaga

Ngunit ito lang naman ang hinihingi Niya

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Dance Partner

I was busy writing and memorizing stuffs for my upcoming contest when finally I got tired and sat down to just rest a bit. Practicing in front of me are my fellow students who were trying their best to do a perfect and safe lifting. There were three pairs, the two pairs were doing good while the last pair was struggling.

 

As a person who knows nothing about dancing, I choose to just shut my mouth and observe everything that is happening. While watching them, I realized some few things regarding with relationships, specially with the struggling one:

 

“You’re [the guy] not strong enough to lift her. Strengthen your back and shoulders, Josh! (not his real name) “

I heard their coach saying that repeatedly, “Strengthen your back and shoulders!

  • As Josh’s friend, I know that he doesn’t have any background with lifting nor dancing but I’m so proud of him *Even though I was laughing so hard, sorry Josh*, trying his best to listen and apply things as his team coaches him. After a few try, fail, try, fail and try, finally he was STRONG ENOUGH to lift her.

 

Josh actually came and join a dance lifting team wherein he was not prepared and actually lacks knowledge about it. Just like some other guys out there who are actually trying to enter a relationship that they know nothing about. Guys, entering a relationship means you are prepared, equipped and ready to lead and handle a beautiful lady that God treasured so much.

After Josh’s problem, here comes another one:

“Lyca (not her real name), Josh is not really the problem now! You are! You don’t trust him! You don’t trust your partner!

  • Ouch. My heart was broken when I heard that because Lyca is actually a great dancer. I admire her PASSION and TALENT in terms to dancing. Imagine her, hearing those words from her dance coach? Isn’t it painful? But it’s actually true!

 

I was watching them in a bit distance but I can clearly see how her body shakes and how uncomfortable she is. She was actually pulling Josh’s hair instead of just holding his head. Well, if I were in her situation I might feel the same! Josh is not a professional lifter, Lyca could have an injury or even die if Josh failed to support or catch her. One mistake, end game.

 

Lyca was prepared for the stage. She was trained for this. She was good on her own. BUT things messed up when a partner came in. IF she’s expecting Josh to be strong enough to handle and lift her, she must also perform her obligation: TRUSTING.

 

It is one thing that men are strong enough to handle women and it is another thing that women are strong enough to trust their partner. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR PARTNER.

 

But who really is our Partner? Isn’t it Jesus Christ?

 

JESUS is STRONG ENOUGH to CARRY the CROSS for us.

JESUS is STRONG ENOUGH to DIE on the CROSS for our sins.

JESUS is STRONG ENOUGH to HANDLE us with CARE.

JESUS is STRONG ENOUGH to LOOK at us with GRACE.

 

JESUS is our PARTNER in LIFE. He is the one who will lead us along the way in all aspect. He is the One who will lift us up, catch us when we fall, and handle us when we almost trip. Now, will you dance with Him? Will you trust Him as you dance?

Duon Sa Kapihan

Duon tayo sa kapihan,

Ang ating tagpuan.

Ipapaalala Ko lang sa’yo

Na bago mo siya minahal, nauna Ako.

 

Bago mo siya kinatagpo sa kapihan,

Ako ang una mong kasama at sandalan.

Sa mga gabing parang walang tahanang uuwian,

Ako ang kausap mo sa kapihan.

 

 

Naaalala mo pa ba?

Bago mo siya kwentuhan,

Ako muna ang kinikwentuhan.

Ako ang laging nauuna bago siya.

 

Nauna Ako sa puso mo,

Ni minsan hindi Ako nawala.

Kahit nuong dumating siya,

Sa tagpuan, andito lang Ako.

 

Gabi gabi, araw- araw,

Pwede tayong magkita.

Isama mo pa ang hapon at madaling araw

Dahil gusto Kitang kausap, gustong makasama.

 

Nauna Ako.

Nauna Akong minahal mo.

Ngunit mas nauna Kitang minahal,

Bago pa niya sinabi sa’yo ang salitang “mahal”

 

Kaya pakiusap Ko, Aking mahal,

Patuloy na Ako ang unahin.

Hindi man nila alam,

Ngunit alam Kong inuna mo’Ko bago siya.

 

Alagaan mo ang pusisyon Ko,

Nauna Ako at sana una hanggang dulo.

Dito tayo sa tagpuan, hindi dating tagpuan

Dahil hindi naman TAYO nawala sa ating kapihan.

 

 

 

 

Beneath the Burdens

Are you in a painful situation? A situation that you do not want to be in?  A mess that you never dreamt?

Then, I suggest that you should give up.  Yes, there’s no typographical error.

JUST GIVE UP.

That’s what I feel right now, I want to give up. At this moment, that’s the easiest decision to make. To just end every fight and live the life that the world has to offer. I locked myself inside the room. I started to cry and just ask God “Why?” Why did He allowed these things to happen? Why does it need to be this painful?

As I cry louder than the rain outside tonight, I  was reminded about a lot of things. A lot of “What if?” But there is greater than this pain. There are things hidden beneath the burdens that I have right now.

The Truths Beneath The Burdens:

  1. Your feelings are valid.

I’ve been keeping everything within me. Thinking that I cannot cry nor look weak in front of the people who are involved in the situation. I was thinking that what I am feeling right now is not valid and I cannot afford to just feel sad. That I should be the one who’ll be a strong wall for them to lean on. But I’m tired. I am now tired of pretending that I can. I’m tired of looking and feeling strong.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

But the truth beneath the burdens is the feelings that I considered as not valid is so valid before the Lord. I forgot that I have Him as the One whom I can go unto anytime. The One who’ll never get tired of listening to what I feel and to all my cries. My Bestfriend, my Father. My Father who knows and cares about everything that is related to me.

2. It will make you stronger. 

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Go on, and face it! But get everything that you can get from that experience. Bring every good things and pack it for your next battles to come. I believe that if you’re in a situation that doesn’t end your story or journey it is just a stepping stone and a preparation for your greater battles to face. What doesn’t kill you is meant to build you up. What doesn’t kill you is just an investment of experience. Beneath the burden, you’ll find wisdom for tomorrow. You are now wiser than yesterday.

3. It is not for you to carry.

Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. – Psalm 55:22

Beneath the burdens that we are carrying right now is the truth that it is not for us to carry. We are not the savior of our own self. We are not the savior of our family. We are not the savior of our community. We are not the savior of our nation. We are not in this world to carry every burden that the world has been putting in our shoulders. 2000 years ago a man named JESUS already carried YOUR BURDEN and the BURDEN OF THE WORLD. John 3:16,

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Jesus already did it when he carried the cross of calvary. Every sin. Every shame. Every pain. Every burden. It is now done on the cross.

Going back to what I’ve said in the beginning about giving up. It doesn’t change. I still suggest that you must give up. The burden is too heavy for us to carry and in order for us to move forward and to keep on going it to just surrender it in His hands. Just give up and allow God to do His thing. At the beginning the phrase “GIVING UP” means defeat. Now the word “GIVING UP” means victory for you are giving the will to the VICTORIOUS KING. JUST GIVE IT ALL UP TO JESUS.

Do you want me to share what is the greatest thing that I gave up?

That is my life. I gave up my everything and that is the only decision that I’ve made in my whole life that I never regretted. I gave up my life at His feet and now He is allowing me to experience His everything. Tonight I can say to myself “Thank you for finally giving up. ” But come to think of it. I’m just a rug compare to what the heaven gave up to have me back. The heaven’s Best: Jesus.

My Playlist As I Write: Come As You Are


Note: Thank you for my Kid’s Staff family for being there in this battle through prayers. I love you all.

“I look like Noah” — I am myself.

I had fun meeting with my relatives last few months. We went to different places and ate a lot of food but the highlight of my day was when I had a conversation with my 7 years old cousin named Noah. 

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Jabez Noah Bagay

Noah is a sweet and smart kid. Every time that I go home to our province, he’s ready to welcome me with kisses and hugs! And today a question suddenly came in to my mind. I asked him this question to start with, “Noah, who do you look like? ” He looked at me and replied, “I look like Noah.” 

 

I laugh thinking that he was just joking so I repeated my question but I received the same response. I was intrigued by how he firmly said that phrase so when my Aunt came, I told her what had happened. I asked Noah for the 3rd time and her mom interrupted saying “Noah looks like mommy!” He looked at me saying “I look like Noah”.Her mom then said that Noah does respond in that way naturally and told me to ask Noah about “the-future-Noah”. 

“Who’ll be the future Noah?” Curiously I asked him. He smiled and told me about every specific detail of who the future Noah will be. His own dream at the age of 7! He knows who he is and who he want to be! 


After that conversation I can’t help but to reflect with this questions… 

Do I REALLY know who I am?

Looking back, I was defined by what the people say. “She’s spoiled. She’s cute. She’s short. She’s smart. She’s talkative. etc. ” So I live and move depending on what the person says about me. I give them what comes out from their mouth. When they say I’m a brat, I become one. When they say I’m a cry-baby, I do cry. I don’t know who am I because I was so busy focusing on what the world says not on who God says I am. 

Do I know who I want to be? 

I was 8 years old when I told my mom that I want to be a Pastor when I grew up. She smile at me and said that I could be one. But that dream fade away when I realized that every time a question “What would you like to be?” will rise up, my answer was way different from everyone. 

During pre-school graduation we did the traditional “When I grow up” speech-thingy. I wanted to say that I’d like to be a pastor someday but when I saw that one of my classmate received a loud clap after she said, “When I grow up, I want to be a Doctor…” I wanted to be one in an instant. Thinking it was the right thing to say because the people smiled and clapped, who would have clap their hands when a child says a wrong thing? No one. 

I was… 

Have you observed that I used “I was” instead of “I am”? Because that was the past. As I gain age, I learn and discover not only about a lot of things but also about myself and the God who created me. That even if I patterned my dreams to what the world says “a-must-have”, He made a way. The night that I encountered Him, I knew that my dreams for myself are way too small compare to His dream for me. 

So if you are having an identity crisis or rethinking about the path or dream that you are trying to reach, remember that God is always on the call 24/7. You can only find your identity and purpose in Him for He is the one who created you.

 

2016

 It was a year of unexpected things. Unexpectedly beautiful and painful. A year of growth in so many aspects of my life. But if I will choose a highlight of this year, it is God’s faithfulness and goodness. 

People, heart, direction, and even situations changed but He never did. I failed a lot. A lot that I could say that He has all the reason to leave me and forsake me, but He never did. He loved me. He stayed. He remain faithful. 

I may not mention all the people who stayed by my side for the past few years up to now, some just arrived this year, you know who you are and I definitely thank God for your lives.I consider all of you as a blessing.

To my family, if I will be given a chance to pick one, I will still choose you. Until the end, I still want to have you guys as my family. 

Thank You Jesus for year 2016, it was an amazing journey. I’m now brave to face year 2017 — the year of crowning glory! 

Happy new year everyone!☆

I Gained Wisdom From My Wisdom Tooth

It’s really funny and amazing how God speaks to us differently and in many ways! To the point that even to my wisdom tooth, He is reminding me that He is at work. Tonight, I gained wisdom form my wisdom tooth.

My wisdom tooth is actually erupting towards the right direction, seems no problem but still, it hurts. It hurts to the point that I took 1 pain reliever and I used the Lido-Jel (Topical Anesthetic Gel) And sometimes it is the same with our Christian life…

Have you ever asked God this question: “Lord, why am I experiencing this pain if I am obeying You? If I am walking in Your will? If I’m really walking towards the right direction as You said so?” 

It’s funny how serious I was with all the tears in my eyes *insert dramatic music*  while asking those question to Him and He answered me through the wisdom tooth. It’s not that He doesn’t take me seriously but He answered the way I would understand His plan. He speaks to us the way He knows it best because we can never think the way He thinks. ( See Isiah 55:8 )

Here’s the wisdom/ reflection from the awesome tooth: 

  1. PAIN – represents PROCESS. We can never experience the fullness of success without the process. Pain HELPS us to understand the value of the price and BUILD us UP to be prepared for what is about to come.
  2. WISDOM TOOTH – represents GOD’S PROMISES in our lives. It could be your desires, prayers, dreams or calling in life. The tooth doesn’t come out over-night. It is a long and painful process before we can really see it. It is growing.  And in order for us to see and experience it’s fullness we need:
  • Patience– We need patience as we wait for it to grow. Until we can experience its fullness without any hindrance. ( See Proverbs 10:22 )
  • EnduranceSome people chooses to under-go a surgery in order to lessen the pain but after that operation, the tooth will be removed from its place and no matter how bad you want to have it back, the dentist couldn’t perform any miracle for you. Sometimes,we (yes, I am included!) Christians, just want the promises of God and skip the process. Not knowingly that skipping the process could also means missing the blessing. 

(Some blessings are just offered for a specific season in our life but we’ll never know how God could work, He does things beyond how we think. Beyond what we can do. #Grace ) 

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. – Hebrews 10:36 NIV
3. RIGHT ERUPTION/ POSITION  – Sometimes crazy things like “Lord, if I am walking in Your will and I am doing the right thing, how come those people who are doing things that are not pleasing in Your eyes seems to succeed more? ” comes in my mind but God’s answer is simple…
“But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” – 1 Peter 3:14
It has been a year or so when my wisdom tooth started to erupt. My sister is actually a Dentist which means I have an option for it to be removed but I didn’t. Why? because the fact that it is painful it means it is actually growing. WHEN THERE IS PAIN, THERE IS GROWTH. Why would I stop something that is RIGHT? Just like with our OBEDIENCE and TOTAL SURRENDER to GOD’S SOVEREIGNTY it could be painful and tiring at times but it is WORTHWHILE. If wisdom tooth completes the set of teeth, our OBEDIENCE and TOTAL SURRENDER in good or in bad times, completes our greatest calling- to give glory to God the most.
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