Beneath the Burdens

Are you in a painful situation? A situation that you do not want to be in?  A mess that you never dreamt?

Then, I suggest that you should give up.  Yes, there’s no typographical error.

JUST GIVE UP.

That’s what I feel right now, I want to give up. At this moment, that’s the easiest decision to make. To just end every fight and live the life that the world has to offer. I locked myself inside the room. I started to cry and just ask God “Why?” Why did He allowed these things to happen? Why does it need to be this painful?

As I cry louder than the rain outside tonight, I  was reminded about a lot of things. A lot of “What if?” But there is greater than this pain. There are things hidden beneath the burdens that I have right now.

The Truths Beneath The Burdens:

  1. Your feelings are valid.

I’ve been keeping everything within me. Thinking that I cannot cry nor look weak in front of the people who are involved in the situation. I was thinking that what I am feeling right now is not valid and I cannot afford to just feel sad. That I should be the one who’ll be a strong wall for them to lean on. But I’m tired. I am now tired of pretending that I can. I’m tired of looking and feeling strong.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

But the truth beneath the burdens is the feelings that I considered as not valid is so valid before the Lord. I forgot that I have Him as the One whom I can go unto anytime. The One who’ll never get tired of listening to what I feel and to all my cries. My Bestfriend, my Father. My Father who knows and cares about everything that is related to me.

2. It will make you stronger. 

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Go on, and face it! But get everything that you can get from that experience. Bring every good things and pack it for your next battles to come. I believe that if you’re in a situation that doesn’t end your story or journey it is just a stepping stone and a preparation for your greater battles to face. What doesn’t kill you is meant to build you up. What doesn’t kill you is just an investment of experience. Beneath the burden, you’ll find wisdom for tomorrow. You are now wiser than yesterday.

3. It is not for you to carry.

Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. – Psalm 55:22

Beneath the burdens that we are carrying right now is the truth that it is not for us to carry. We are not the savior of our own self. We are not the savior of our family. We are not the savior of our community. We are not the savior of our nation. We are not in this world to carry every burden that the world has been putting in our shoulders. 2000 years ago a man named JESUS already carried YOUR BURDEN and the BURDEN OF THE WORLD. John 3:16,

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Jesus already did it when he carried the cross of calvary. Every sin. Every shame. Every pain. Every burden. It is now done on the cross.

Going back to what I’ve said in the beginning about giving up. It doesn’t change. I still suggest that you must give up. The burden is too heavy for us to carry and in order for us to move forward and to keep on going it to just surrender it in His hands. Just give up and allow God to do His thing. At the beginning the phrase “GIVING UP” means defeat. Now the word “GIVING UP” means victory for you are giving the will to the VICTORIOUS KING. JUST GIVE IT ALL UP TO JESUS.

Do you want me to share what is the greatest thing that I gave up?

That is my life. I gave up my everything and that is the only decision that I’ve made in my whole life that I never regretted. I gave up my life at His feet and now He is allowing me to experience His everything. Tonight I can say to myself “Thank you for finally giving up. ” But come to think of it. I’m just a rug compare to what the heaven gave up to have me back. The heaven’s Best: Jesus.

My Playlist As I Write: Come As You Are


Note: Thank you for my Kid’s Staff family for being there in this battle through prayers. I love you all.

“I look like Noah” — I am myself.

I had fun meeting with my relatives last few months. We went to different places and ate a lot of food but the highlight of my day was when I had a conversation with my 7 years old cousin named Noah. 

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Jabez Noah Bagay

Noah is a sweet and smart kid. Every time that I go home to our province, he’s ready to welcome me with kisses and hugs! And today a question suddenly came in to my mind. I asked him this question to start with, “Noah, who do you look like? ” He looked at me and replied, “I look like Noah.” 

 

I laugh thinking that he was just joking so I repeated my question but I received the same response. I was intrigued by how he firmly said that phrase so when my Aunt came, I told her what had happened. I asked Noah for the 3rd time and her mom interrupted saying “Noah looks like mommy!” He looked at me saying “I look like Noah”.Her mom then said that Noah does respond in that way naturally and told me to ask Noah about “the-future-Noah”. 

“Who’ll be the future Noah?” Curiously I asked him. He smiled and told me about every specific detail of who the future Noah will be. His own dream at the age of 7! He knows who he is and who he want to be! 


After that conversation I can’t help but to reflect with this questions… 

Do I REALLY know who I am?

Looking back, I was defined by what the people say. “She’s spoiled. She’s cute. She’s short. She’s smart. She’s talkative. etc. ” So I live and move depending on what the person says about me. I give them what comes out from their mouth. When they say I’m a brat, I become one. When they say I’m a cry-baby, I do cry. I don’t know who am I because I was so busy focusing on what the world says not on who God says I am. 

Do I know who I want to be? 

I was 8 years old when I told my mom that I want to be a Pastor when I grew up. She smile at me and said that I could be one. But that dream fade away when I realized that every time a question “What would you like to be?” will rise up, my answer was way different from everyone. 

During pre-school graduation we did the traditional “When I grow up” speech-thingy. I wanted to say that I’d like to be a pastor someday but when I saw that one of my classmate received a loud clap after she said, “When I grow up, I want to be a Doctor…” I wanted to be one in an instant. Thinking it was the right thing to say because the people smiled and clapped, who would have clap their hands when a child says a wrong thing? No one. 

I was… 

Have you observed that I used “I was” instead of “I am”? Because that was the past. As I gain age, I learn and discover not only about a lot of things but also about myself and the God who created me. That even if I patterned my dreams to what the world says “a-must-have”, He made a way. The night that I encountered Him, I knew that my dreams for myself are way too small compare to His dream for me. 

So if you are having an identity crisis or rethinking about the path or dream that you are trying to reach, remember that God is always on the call 24/7. You can only find your identity and purpose in Him for He is the one who created you.

 

2016

 It was a year of unexpected things. Unexpectedly beautiful and painful. A year of growth in so many aspects of my life. But if I will choose a highlight of this year, it is God’s faithfulness and goodness. 

People, heart, direction, and even situations changed but He never did. I failed a lot. A lot that I could say that He has all the reason to leave me and forsake me, but He never did. He loved me. He stayed. He remain faithful. 

I may not mention all the people who stayed by my side for the past few years up to now, some just arrived this year, you know who you are and I definitely thank God for your lives.I consider all of you as a blessing.

To my family, if I will be given a chance to pick one, I will still choose you. Until the end, I still want to have you guys as my family. 

Thank You Jesus for year 2016, it was an amazing journey. I’m now brave to face year 2017 — the year of crowning glory! 

Happy new year everyone!☆

I Gained Wisdom From My Wisdom Tooth

It’s really funny and amazing how God speaks to us differently and in many ways! To the point that even to my wisdom tooth, He is reminding me that He is at work. Tonight, I gained wisdom form my wisdom tooth.

My wisdom tooth is actually erupting towards the right direction, seems no problem but still, it hurts. It hurts to the point that I took 1 pain reliever and I used the Lido-Jel (Topical Anesthetic Gel) And sometimes it is the same with our Christian life…

Have you ever asked God this question: “Lord, why am I experiencing this pain if I am obeying You? If I am walking in Your will? If I’m really walking towards the right direction as You said so?” 

It’s funny how serious I was with all the tears in my eyes *insert dramatic music*  while asking those question to Him and He answered me through the wisdom tooth. It’s not that He doesn’t take me seriously but He answered the way I would understand His plan. He speaks to us the way He knows it best because we can never think the way He thinks. ( See Isiah 55:8 )

Here’s the wisdom/ reflection from the awesome tooth: 

  1. PAIN – represents PROCESS. We can never experience the fullness of success without the process. Pain HELPS us to understand the value of the price and BUILD us UP to be prepared for what is about to come.
  2. WISDOM TOOTH – represents GOD’S PROMISES in our lives. It could be your desires, prayers, dreams or calling in life. The tooth doesn’t come out over-night. It is a long and painful process before we can really see it. It is growing.  And in order for us to see and experience it’s fullness we need:
  • Patience– We need patience as we wait for it to grow. Until we can experience its fullness without any hindrance. ( See Proverbs 10:22 )
  • EnduranceSome people chooses to under-go a surgery in order to lessen the pain but after that operation, the tooth will be removed from its place and no matter how bad you want to have it back, the dentist couldn’t perform any miracle for you. Sometimes,we (yes, I am included!) Christians, just want the promises of God and skip the process. Not knowingly that skipping the process could also means missing the blessing. 

(Some blessings are just offered for a specific season in our life but we’ll never know how God could work, He does things beyond how we think. Beyond what we can do. #Grace ) 

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. – Hebrews 10:36 NIV
3. RIGHT ERUPTION/ POSITION  – Sometimes crazy things like “Lord, if I am walking in Your will and I am doing the right thing, how come those people who are doing things that are not pleasing in Your eyes seems to succeed more? ” comes in my mind but God’s answer is simple…
“But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” – 1 Peter 3:14
It has been a year or so when my wisdom tooth started to erupt. My sister is actually a Dentist which means I have an option for it to be removed but I didn’t. Why? because the fact that it is painful it means it is actually growing. WHEN THERE IS PAIN, THERE IS GROWTH. Why would I stop something that is RIGHT? Just like with our OBEDIENCE and TOTAL SURRENDER to GOD’S SOVEREIGNTY it could be painful and tiring at times but it is WORTHWHILE. If wisdom tooth completes the set of teeth, our OBEDIENCE and TOTAL SURRENDER in good or in bad times, completes our greatest calling- to give glory to God the most.
Do you need a prayer? Someone to talk to? or any feedback? Fill out bellow: 

Kaya ko pa ba?

Isang tanong ang pauli-ulit kong tinatanong sa sarili ko tuwing gabi, “Kaya ko pa ba?”

Sa iba’t ibang bagay na nangyayari ngayun sa buhay mo, kaya mo pa nga kaya? Kaya mo pa kayang harapin ang bukas ng walang takot o pangamba? May iba’t ibang rason kung bakit na itatanong natin ang katagang “Kaya ko pa ba?” hindi man lahat pero ito ang iba: 

  • Namatayan ka– Minsan tao, minsan puso mo.(biro lang!)
  • Problema sa pera – Kulang o ‘di naman kaya’y kapos
  • Trabaho – Hindi mo gusto yung trabaho mo o ‘di mo lang talaga gusto yung pagpapalakad ng boss mo.
  • Pag-aaral – Mahirap dahil sobrang dami mo nangang kaylangang ipasa at aaralin, kapos ka pa pang bayad ng matrikula.
  • Pamilya – minsan sa sobrang gulo hindi mo narin alam kung pamilya pa ba talaga.
  • Sakit – yung nainom mo na lahat ng gamot, wala pading epekto.
  • Pag-ibig – minsan mo nangalang ibigay ang puso mo, napaglaruan pa. (Ga’no kadalas ang minsan mo? Biro lang!)
  • Hindi mo alam – hindi mo alam kung anung problema pero pakiramdam mo meron.

‘Gaya ng sabi ‘ko kanina, hindi lahat ay mailalagay ko, ayoko ng problemahin kung paano ko ‘yun malalagay lahat dahil ‘di naman ako Diyos. Maaring napasama sa listahan na ginawa ko ‘yung problemang pinagdadaanan mo, maaring hindi. Pero ano nga bang sagot sa tanong na “Kaya ko pa ba?”

Nagdadasal ako sa banyo nung nakuha ko ang sagot sa tanong na ‘yan. Oo, sa banyo. Kasi dun lang yung tahimk at lugar kung saan ako lang mag-isa. Hindi lang naman kasi sa simbahan lang pwede mag dasal, kahit saan naman kasi andyan si Lord. Sabi ko pa “Lord, kaya ko pa ba? Kaya ko pa ba?” At naalala ko ito:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Nakalimutan ko na hindi ko nga pala laban ‘to. Simula nung sinuko ko ang buhay ko kay Lord, lahat ng laban ko ay sa Kanya na. At sa pinakamahinang parte ng buhay ko, ‘dun ko pinaka makikita ang lakas Niya. Para sa akin nga pala Siya at hindi nagbabago’yun kahit magbago man ang sitwasyon at emosyon ko.

Ang sagot pala sa tanong ko ay simple lang pero importanteng wag nating makalimutan, Kung lahat posible sa Kanya, at Siya ang pinagkukuhaan mo ng lakas… Kakayanin mo. Oo, kakayanin mo kahit ano pa man iyan dahil hindi nangiiwan sa ere si Lord. Ipaglalaban at sasamahan ka Niya hanggang huli. Kakayanin mo dahil para Siya sa’yo. Continue reading “Kaya ko pa ba?”

To the Ladies: You are Beautiful

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No filter selfie
No lipstick to make my lips red
No bangs to cover my forehead
No powder to cover my oily face
No cover to my big cheeks cuz of ponytail

Why am I posting this?

Ladies, God created you uniquely and beautifully. He is a perfect God and He made no mistake when He created you. I’m not against of using cosmetics or any beautification (nothing wrong with that) but I’m against low self esteem. Do not pattern yourself on the worldly standard of “beauty ” you are created by God and He sees you this way: (The bridegroom to His bride) 

How beautiful you are,my darling! Oh, how beautiful! You are altogether beautiful,my darling; there is no flaw in you.- Song of Songs 4:1;7

If you are struggling to love yourself, ask God to teach you on how to love you the way He does. Because before He formed you in your mother’s womb, He already knows and loves you.Always remember that you are beautiful in many ways! You are loved! You are enough!

P.s Appreciate the beautiful ladies you know, they might need a little reminder on how precious they are!

A Man of Prayers

Oh, how I really want to have a man of prayers,

Who values his relationship with the Father.

A man who could shut his doors,

Earnesly wanting to see His face.
Oh, I’m praying for you, a man of prayers! 

May you seek His heart before seeking mine, 

For He will teach you to love the way He loves,

As you earnesly seek Him first.
I’m praying for you, man of prayers!

Because that man who seek God’s heart zealously 

Can only be the one to have my heart.

For my heart is hidden in His.